Archive for the Random Thoughts Category

How 8 Words can Get You Fired

Posted in Personal Story, Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2017 by bigtuna185

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wordsI’ve been feeling the itch to write again lately, although I’m not entirely sure what to say at this point. So much has passed and changed since the last time that I updated anything on here. My about page and profile are so outdated that at this point they might as well be about a different person. But writing never really leaves you, it just kind of waits for you to come back.

The last time I wrote about something personal I got a great response from it, even though the subject matter was less than enjoyable to write about. There’s been a topic that I’ve been meaning to come around to and address, but I’ve felt that there would be more backlash than support should I decide to publish the post. I’m at a point now, though, that I don’t care for what readers might think, just that I know it’s something that needs to be said.

What follows is an account of how I was pushed out of a job that I loved. All parties will remain nameless because it isn’t so much about who was involved as it is about the need for the full story to be told, lest egos and man’s pride get in the way.

It’s important to start with where I am now in relation to the events that are yet to told. I’m married to my beautiful wife, I have a son on the way, we have an apartment that we live in comfortably with landlords who not only understand and empathize with what happened to me, but have gone through it themselves, and I work 3 jobs so that we can continue to maintain this standard of life. Where I am now isn’t the end of the story, but it serves as a guidepost as to how difficult it has been when it needn’t be so. Don’t get me wrong. We live a GREAT and BLESSED life, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like had events transpired differently. Anyway, onward. Continue reading

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Happy Accident?

Posted in Random Thoughts with tags , , , on May 10, 2017 by bigtuna185

The short story that I wrote months ago, “A Gathering of Exes” (https://bigtuna185.wordpress.com/2016/09/23/a-gathering-of-exes), is suddenly getting a ton of traffic thanks to a link on Reddit. Like hundreds of views. That’s insane.

I’m not complaining, it’s just odd that my story would be linked to in that thread since I’m not what I would call a “well-known author.” I’m not entirely sure how you would find it unless you were one of the 3 or 4 people that read it (numbers not exaggerated), or you dug deep to find some source material for the post.

I think the most ironic part of all of this is that I wrote the story based off of a prompt that I found on, you guessed it, Reddit. How’s that for a full circle ending?

Anyway, if you’re seeing this and you’re new to the blog, mind the cobwebs from the lack of frequent use, and feel free to give some feedback to my writing. Thanks!

Hearing Impaired

Posted in Poetry, Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on September 29, 2015 by bigtuna185

I am trapped inside of a fishbowl
Gazing at the onlookers who

Point and tap the glass

Speaking with their droning

Peanuts adult blare of a voice 

And I strain to hear and listen and pretend 

That I understand exactly what they’re saying

Any remedy to rid my head of this ache

To relieve my ears’ percussion section of swelling

A crescendo that won’t decrease

Has resulted in a refrain

While I wish it would refrain 

Still I sit and anxiously pat out beats on my lap

Impatiently waiting for my hearing to go back to normal

Arms waving and flailing underwater

Deep sea diving inside my own head

My own thoughts echoing all the louder

As my voice is muffled in vain

Congested mind, confess├ęd soul

If only my mind and body were whole

Red Scare

Posted in Poetry, Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , on September 15, 2015 by bigtuna185

A tyrant is born
The moment that he realizes
As soon as he has gained power
He stands to lose it

Aging

Posted in Poetry, Random Thoughts with tags , , , , on August 20, 2015 by bigtuna185

Aging is a funny concept 

Because it’s not so much

The passing of time

As it is the growing awareness

Of things that have changed. 

Retrospective

Posted in Poetry, Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2014 by bigtuna185

I took a ride on the Long Island Railroad
On my way home from the city
It was an old train car
Wood paneling
Vintage upholstery
Seat cushions exhausted by exhausted passengers
Unreliable doors that threatened to open unexpectedly

Impossibly, I found a seat to myself
That I might exist uninhibited
Alas, a family of three came
Single mother, two children
The youngest of which warbling for
A place to sit
Without hesitation, I gathered my things and offered it up
A sacrifice
Or hardly, so I thought

A man behind me commended me on my human decency
Has society become so bad that I deserve
The utmost praise
For a single seat?

I accepted the compliment and gazed out the window

Every now and then the lights would go out
The result of electrical wiring from decades past
And in those dark moments
Silence befell the train car
And all at once everything outside became clear
Where once there was a glare from man’s innovation
I like to think that there was a conductor
Somewhere on the train
That did this on purpose
So that the spirit of curiosity
Would remain alive at the prospect of twinkling stars
And vibrant city lights

My seat eventually came back to me
And I struck up a conversation with the man across
No prior meeting
No motive behind it
Just two strangers talking
Life being the subject
Our experience the well to draw from

Back and forth we went
Each of us at different stages
He in a later chapter
And I just beginning a new one
Yet we related and enjoyed the exchange
Without even the exchange of names

On that train, I felt as if I had traveled backwards in time
For there are no random encounters such as these anymore
Had it been another person
At a different time
In another car
Things would not have gone the way that they did

Seemingly insignificant, I cherish that moment
And I thank God for the lesson and story that came with it

A Quick Thought

Posted in Random Thoughts with tags , , , , on September 1, 2014 by bigtuna185

There is a trend that goes on when texting someone you are interested in where there are no formal “good night’s” exchanged. Whereas older generations might see this as rude (or even unnecessary because who among them even texts as a central line of communication), this phenomenon touches upon a more potent, more honest, and deeper universal sensation that we all experience.

Loneliness.

It is comforting to know that in the safety of your own bed, right as your mind drifts off into unconsciousness, there is someone thinking about you as you fade away from the fabric of reality.

And I think that’s okay.