Archive for free verse

Conditioning

Posted in Poetry with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2017 by bigtuna185

rustic-gold-and-black-silver-mens-wedding-ring-6mm-wide-hammered-surface

Someone once said to me
“Marriage is a heavy burden”
That to wear a ring is a weight,
Not something to be taken lightly
And that may be true
The trials of matrimony
Were never meant to be simple
When you fuse two souls together
Pain is part of the process
Pieces of yourself die off
No longer able to be sustained
When your systems need to be redirected
In order to compensate for two being one

We are Siamese now

To support only one is to destroy both
And so it helps to imagine that we were always this way
To condition yourself into thinking this is normal
Until the muscles and thoughts become second nature
And the lactic acid build up from carrying this extra weight
Subsides and dissipates into new strength

The band around my finger no longer feels foreign
The smooth metal which used to constrict
Now feels as though it is vital
That I might not truly live without it

It is Life
And so is she

Elizabethan

Posted in Poetry with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2014 by bigtuna185

I want to write you bad poetry
Not because you don’t deserve good words
Nor because I lack the capability to do it
Or that you are not inspiring enough to stand as my muse
But when I was writing poorly,
I was feeling purely.

I want to go back to my teenage years
Ruled by emotion, steered by desire
And let passion dictate my actions
Not yet jaded by experience
Still fresh to receive and send out
Signals of admiration
Devoted enough to sacrifice it all
For a smile
A kiss
An embrace
A sense of being wanted

I want to stay up until one in the morning
Thinking of synonymous phrases to let you know
I care, and I care deeply
Although it’s three in the morning back home
And two in the morning where you are
I suppose I’ve figured out a way to travel back in time after all
For when I finally come to you
It will be like journeying to the past
And getting another chance for something great.

Unfortunately there have been others who have received
This scribbled and scrawled gift that
I painstakingly scratched out
They did not deserve it, but they needed it
Through necessity I flourished
Their pain was inflicted upon me
And thus I bled on the page
Crafted my soul into words
And it became something more beautiful than I ever dreamed of
But it hurt so much to amputate that part out of me

This seems different though
You seem different
Such an interesting dynamic between the two of us
You are distant, yet we are close
Connected more in mind and spirit than in body
There will be those who will cry out that it’s wrong
That it’s weird
That it’s not normal
That it can’t end well
But I wave away those projections and cast forth my own

This is different, yet it feels so familiar.

Pathos

Posted in Poetry, Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2014 by bigtuna185

So many people seem to be against
Following their emotions, their feelings.
Have we ever stopped to wonder
Just why that is?

They would have you believe that emotions are wild,
Irrational, savage, primitive,
As though a person full of emotion is one that is
Empty of thought.
I have never found that to be less true.

Inherently, emotions are good. To feel is to live.
Happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, fear;
All are indicative of experience.
All point towards a life fully lived,
And wisdom gained as a result.

You see, I’m the type of person who will lead from the heart
And yet try to justify my heart actions with brain actions.
Why do I try to hide my true intent?
Must I have to seem so logical all the time?
And while reason is not necessarily evil either,
It detracts from my main motivator.

I have never been moved to act more
By something that made sense,
So what power does logic really hold?
I am more likely to jump into the void
On a whim,
On the off chance that some overwhelming good
Might chance to come my way.

Because while we all love to feel control
In some form or another,
There is an unbelievable high that takes place
When your choices land you in the ether of uncertainty.

And really that’s what makes emotion seem bad:
Control.
Emotions were never meant to lead, only to consult.
They are a whispering counselor with good intentions,
Meant only to shade your perspective from all angles.
Give them enough power, though,
And they become an impulsive tyrant.

Having complete faith in your emotions is foolish.
Do not count solely on something that is so wont to change.
However, having no faith is equally foolish.
There is a truth hidden in your body’s chemistry
Such that the brain will never understand.

So while I am a believer of logos,
I am also an advocate for the pathos.
You will never believe what you don’t feel,
And how can you feel if you don’t believe?